Remember Sexual Awareness Month by Kelly King

April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month and I have been struggling on how to write this article. Rape is not about numbers and statistics, but rather a personal issue for me. By the age of 21 I had been raped 3 times.

I am in my forties now. When I was 17 and a senior in high school, I was raped for the first time. It was winter.

Like many victims of sexual assault, I never reported any of my rapes to the police because I knew my rapist and even had a huge crush on him.

I was not willing to lose my virginity to this guy no matter how big my crush was on him. He was extremely popular, nice and could have had any girl he wanted.

This 16 year old boy showed up in my room in the middle of the night. I had forgotten to lock my sliding glass doors leading outside that  night. My room was on the first floor and my parent’s room was on the third floor. I was startled when I saw figure sitting in the dark. I called out, “Who’s there?” The boy answered.

This guy asked me a bunch of questions about sex. I guess I answered them the way he wanted me to because before I knew it we were fooling around. That was consensual.

I repeatedly told him I was not only not going to sleep with him. I was not going to lose my virginity to him. I kept saying, “No!”

What happened? He pulled down my boxer shorts and underwear. My rapist proceeded to enter me and it felt like rocks were being shoved inside of me. It was really painful and I felt sick. My whole body did.

I went to school in what I now know was a deep depression. The word that my rapist and I had, “had sex,” had spread like wildfire throughout the entire school.

No one believed me, including my closest friends. I had one close friend who was there for me while I cried, worried about the possibility of being pregnant or contracted HIV, which was very common and untreatable back then.

My first year of college was spent in the Pacific Northwest and I had a serious boyfriend. He was constantly trying to coerce me into having sex with him. He wore me down on two separate occasions and what I didn’t realize was that I had severe P.T.S.D. I felt the same way  I did after I was raped after having sex with my boyfriend. My whole body hurt the same way it did after I had been raped the first time.

The next year, I was a sophomore at the University of New Mexico and living on campus.

There were groups that gathered together at one of the men’s dorms to educate young men and women about rape on college campuses and the importance to remain vigilant while on campus and outside at night.

I tried to talk about my experience as a rape victim to the freshmen women in my dorm at UNM and the importance of learning from my experience. Since we all lived on campus, I tried to get them to realize that what I was saying was important. Not only would none of them listen, but I was ostracized for it.

In the late 1980s and 90s, a lot of victims of sexual assault were not willing to call the police because they were scared that they would not be believed as was the case with me.

I did not have a good sexual experience until after I received help from the Rape Crisis Center of Central New Mexico while I  was a sophomore at the University of New Mexico. Back then, I responded really well to Art therapy and finished out my sessions feeling a renewed sense of wellness and forgiveness towards my rapist.

Shortly after my counseling ended, I met the love of my life and had my first positive sexual experience. I have the Rape Crisis Counseling Center of central New Mexico to thank for that. They saved my life.

If you are raped, report it. It is treated seriously now. Don’t shower. Keep your clothes on that you were wearing when you were raped. All of this will help your case. Pursue it. Be persistent. Let your voice be heard.

If you are either a male or female and are either assaulted or someone tries to assault you, it is not your fault. Once you say, “No,” it becomes either a rape or attempted rape.

The Rape Crisis Center of Central New Mexico is located at 9741 Candelaria Northeast and Albuquerque. There hotline is 505-266-7711. Their counseling and education number is 505-266-7712.

I am no longer a victim of sexual assault. A survivor is how I see myself now because I refuse to live in my life as a victim any longer.

Ways to find Your Missing Pet

BY ESTEFFANY ORTIZ

DUKE CITY TIMES STAFF WRITER

Have you ever thought what would you do or feel if your pet went missing. Pets are family and as they take care of us, we need to take care of them. It is important to be prepared. Reuniting with your pet can be possible by implanting a microchip. Microchips provide the owners information. The procedure is performed at a veterinarian’s office and is simple and similar to administering a vaccine or a routine shot.

Another way to be proactive is to install an app called Petharbor Mobile or go to Petharbor.com. If your pet is found, the site and app display where your pet is located.  Remember to never give up and contact all pounds within the area. It is a good idea to check out the links posted below and verify other alternatives.Being prepared can save your pet.

Bernalillo County Pet Search

City Of Albuquerque Missing Pet Search

NM Animal Humane Outreachlost-pet

Lost in A.R.T by Kelly King

 

Let me preface this article with the following information… You’ve probably seen me around town with my dog. I either walk or hike an average of 42 miles every week, especially when it’s nice outside. I live within 7.2 miles of everywhere I go. That being said, sometimes I would rather take the bus due to inclement weather or I am suffering from a bad case of sleep deprivation and just don’t have the motivation to walk.

When I heard about A.R.T. (Albuquerque Rapid Transit), I could not understand how anyone aside from those businesses that are on Central could possibly be upset about this project. Of particular concern was the Nob Hill district.
Granted, I live at the beginning of the war zone. I get tired of all of the drug dealers, pot (a.k.a. chronic) emanating from apartment buildings surrounding mine, alcoholics, tweakers and hypodermic needles I continue to find in my neighborhood. As a result, I wanted to move to a complex where I would be completely dependent on the bus system in Albuquerque.
I reconsidered due to A.R.T., thinking I could put off moving for a year, knowing full well the project could become problematic at times. I just wanted to be in a quiet, safe area away from all of the crime. Then, lo and behold, what did I find?
There are orange cones and barrels for safety purposes all over Central Avenue, which seem to move every week. Bus stops keep moving. I will go to what I think is for either the 66 or 777 bus.I will be waiting awhile and next thing I know, the bus I was waiting for goes right past me. I wind up walking at least half a mile trying to find another “correct” stop. I thought I knew where the bus stops all along Central and San Mateo were, but then they were moved.
Yesterday, I took the Lomas bus to San Mateo. Then I waited for the 140 or 141 to go south bound along San Mateo. It was supposed to be a straight shot. NO! The San Mateo bus went South to Copper Avenue, headed west on Copper, southbound one block to Central Avenue, then eastbound down Central. Holy crap! Talk about frustrating.
Now there’s talk that there might not be enough money to finish the Albuquerque Rapid Transit project.WTF? Mayor Berry has no back-up plan should funding run out. Who is going to foot the bill? My bet is the taxpayers.
So, my stance is, fix whatever holes are along Central and make the city go back to the old bus system.
Kelly King
Lost in A.R.T.

Trumps broad Characterization of Muslims and Hispanics as Criminals based on the actions of a very few is Morally wrong.

Trump is insinuating that Hispanics and Muslims are criminals.He is founding this argument on the isolated criminal actions of a very few people,so few that they have almost no statistical bearing.this is morally wrong and indicative of fascism and a tyrant.Martin Luther king taught us all “Judge not a man by the color of his skin,but by the content of his character”.I will not broadly characterize the vast majority of Latinos or Muslims as villains,rapist or criminals because of the crimes of an isolated few.I know in my heart that the majority of Hispanics and Muslims are honest hard working god fearing people.I will judge each person by the content of their character and I will not judge them because of alternative facts or the workings of a tyrant.I believe in America,I believe as an american it is my duty to protect my country and countrymen,but i will not sacrifice freedom for security.By going against the tide,by not following the fascist status quo of racial persecution,I am becoming an even brighter beacon of humanity and whats right and I encourage others to do the same.

Paisanos: The Best Italian Restaurant in the Southwest.

Paisano’s restaurant is the best restaurant in the Albuquerque.Not only does the restaurant use all homemade ingredients like pasta,chips and bread,but they also use authentic traditional recipes and methods from the old country.As the owner said “the kitchen is like a little grandmas kitchen in Italy” and they still do things that same way.If you like all fresh ingredients as well as homemade, Paisano’s is the place to be.The taste of the food is pure,that’s the best way to put it,pure authenticity.

 1935 Eubank Blvd, Albuquerque, NM 87112

 (505) 298-7541

 

https://www.zomato.com/albuquerque-nm/paisanos-albuquerque